Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Coming Up

It's been a good month since I last updated this blog so I figured it was due time to take a break to write a little.  Since my last entry I finished my third year at Cal, saw three of my favorite bands live in concert (Ozomatli, Man√° and Coldplay), started planning for my upcoming trip to Europe and found out that I finished another semester of school with straight A's!  The last few months for me have been filled with blessings and I'm overwhelmed with joy at all of the opportunities coming my way in the future.  In less than a month I'll be leaving the United States to spend a month in Madrid where I'll be taking two courses, living in a residencia with other international students, as well as local Spaniards, and of course, exploring the city when the chance arises.  After I finish the program, I'll be flying to Bergen, Norway to spend a week with our family friend, Claudia, and her husband.  I haven't seen her since she moved nearly a year ago (how time flies!) and I'm very excited to see her new home and of course, finally meet her husband.  Naturally, I'm bogged down by a bit of anxiety but the encouragement of friends and family, as well as some of the orientation tools that the study abroad program has provided for me, have helped a lot to calm and alleviate my worry.

In the meantime, I have a few more weeks at home with few obligations which has been very nice (at times, almost too nice!).  I've been trying to sort out some of my goals for my experience abroad and give a little bit more thought to my future.  I'll be graduating this upcoming academic year so the thought of post-graduation plans is nagging at me a bit.  I'm looking into graduate school programs in Spanish literature and after a push from a few of my professors I feel a little more equipped to pursue graduate education.  I've lived in California my whole life and I love the state, my home, and of course, my family, but I'm giving more and more thought to programs out of state, including a few private schools on the east coast.  In the past, I've been held back in many ways by my own doubt of my capacity to succeed in graduate programs but I'm trying to be a little more optimistic and confident in my potential. I don't want to be constrained by fear but of course, I also don't want an overabundance of self-confidence to prevent me from trying my hardest and pushing myself a little further.  The next few months will definitely be a negotiation of priorities and attempting to figure out what exactly it is that I want to do and where I want to go.  That said, for now I'm trying to focus on one thing at a time, get through the summer, explore and enjoy my experience abroad and then I'll make time to do some soul-searching.

This school year, this last semester especially, has been very much an eye-opener for me, in many ways that I still haven't been able to find the words to express but I'm very happy and in large part, very fulfilled.  It's been such a joy to feel so invested in my schoolwork, to grow more confident in my own sense of self and to feel such support and overwhelming love from my family and friends at home, in Berkeley and in other parts of the state and country.  It's nice to no longer be weighed down by former concerns and to look at the future with anticipation, despite not knowing what exactly is in store for me there.

I look forward to spending the next few weeks organizing, reading, writing, spending time with my friends and family, and knowing me, doing an awful lot of TV-watching.  Hope this post finds you all well!

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